O lento regresso à vida

Stanley discovered thirteen ancient stone tablets whose message, once deciphered could change the entire course of human existence. They were an ancient copy of the Old Testament. There were plenty of ancient Old Testaments around but this was a Very Old Testament. This was an Extremely Old Testament. As it turned out, this was the Oldest Testament of Them All. What had the experts so utterly and completely freaked out was that the text of this Oldest Testament of Them All was identical to every Not Quite as Old Testament written after it, down to the very last letter, except for one short paragraph that seemed to have dropped from the latter editions, a paragraph that simply read:

The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

Which caused a number of problems.

The Ayatollah Khamenei sat down at his tangerine iMac, printed out one copy of “Fatwa.doc”, and hastily filled it in.

“Because Stan denies the existence of the Peaceful Loving God of Everlasting Mercy and Compassion” wrote the Ayatollah, “it is incumbent upon us to kill him”

Beware of God, Shalom Auslander